Crazy times

Friday night was very strange indeed. Went to the gig, G was initially friendly but then a bit standoffish when I tried to kiss him. When I asked him to explain why he just said "I cant, OK?" and didn't offer any further information. It's infuriating but he's not worth me getting upset over. Noticed the bimbo hovering round him plus he arrived with someone's lipstick mark on his face so something must have been going on. I turned up VERY drunk but the final straw was when I walked into the Green Room only to have that silly cow tell me (LOUDLY, I might add) to "shut the door, we're doing class A drugs in here!" The "we" was her and G. I had only gone in to get my coat so I could nip outside for a fag but after that I decided to just leave. I wasn't in the mood to spend all night feeling on the outside and he's not important enough to me for me to make some sort of scene over. I think what bothered me so much was just his lack of respect for my feelings considering we are meant to be friends. I know I didn't want G as anything more than fun but he could have just been honest with me if he didnt want to carry on with that, for whatever reason.

I literally made a split second decision to just go and walked out, not saying goodbye to anyone. Felt bad afterwards as I had also gone out to celebrate E's birthday and I knew she would wonder where I had gone. Phoned K as I had been invited to a party in South London and thought it seemed a waste to just go home when it was so near to where I was. She said to come and I'm so glad I did. It was at S's house and she is a really nice girl.

I must have been pretty wasted when I turned up as I somehow ended up doing meow. It seemed like the practical drug of choice seeing as I had no cash and was already drunk so more alcohol would have just sent me to sleep, and it looked like everyone else was planning to stay up all night. Had a brilliant time but I am paying for it now. There is something seriously bad in that stuff as I'm having the same after effects I have had every other time - insomnia, temperature, headaches and generally feeling awful. Some of that will be down to missing a night's sleep but the rest has got to be the meow. Sampled a rather large line of some new variant on it which nearly made me throw up straight away.

On the up side I caught up with an old friend and got reminded how fun it was to hang out with her occasionally, even if she can be fickle. I sensibly sobered up for the last few hours before leaving around midday Saturday. It took me 2 hours to get back! Today will be spent recuperating at home, I'm seeing S tomorrow and want to be as fresh as possible. Didn't sleep much last night but will try and get more later as I suspect I'll get a sudden emotional crash at some point if I dont.

I really must not do meow again. I am technically a grown up and if I'm going to take illegal substances I should take the ones which have the best effect and the least negative consequences. Had an interview earlier this week about a very good job and I'm hoping to get put forward for a 2nd one, so I cant be doing this shit if I want to make a success of it.